This little guy is working a couple different angles here, but for now let's focus on his top. (You can't really call this a shirt). Let's face it, not everybody can pull off the collarless zip tee. This guy can't either, but we respect the attempt to put out the Captain Kirk vibe. As Earthlings, we also think it's only fair to let him know that he's veered into dicey territory with the striped top/striped short combo.
Actually, no. It does, unfortunately, make you look like a complete freak show who should probably be locked up in a ward somewhere with very good security... but your ass seems to be of a reasonable size. Sure, we could all do a little more cardio, but we wouldn't call it "big".
What, was your "I''ve gotta take a dump" t-shirt in the laundry. WTF? These shirts, like stupid bumper stickers, announce"I am a complete 'nad" without you saying a word. We are happy your wore this to the airport though. With all the cancelled and late flights creating mobs of angry travelers just waiting for someone to piss them off, the odds are pretty good that you are going to get punched in the back of the head. Don't say we didn't warn you.